


That Dreaded Question

by Fandomtrashed13



Category: Darkwing Duck (Cartoon)
Genre: 'Laughs while writing this', Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-09-28 06:26:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17177630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandomtrashed13/pseuds/Fandomtrashed13
Summary: "What's wrong?!" Launchpad repeated slowly, gaping at her. "What's wrong?! Ya don't ask that kinda' stuff, kid!"'I don't?' "Well, why not?" Gosalyn asked, quirking up an eyebrow.





	That Dreaded Question

   Usually, dinner was a quiet affair in the house.

   Negaduck didn't like to talk at all unless it was about her cooking or recounting the day's events when he felt like sharing. Sometimes, although rarely, they would both talk about a topic that was safe. A new movie-usually horror-showing at the rundown theatre, the Muddlefoot family next door, what one of the popular gangs were doing nowadays. But, when Gosayln tried to strike up a conversation she was met with a growl of a voice telling her to shut up. And so, dinner was a quiet affair.

   Today, however, it was not. Gosalyn glanced up from her pasta and chicken to see Launchpad and Negaduck chuckling at a joke the latter had made. She would never understand those mainly because it made no sense. What did it mean when 'someone was packing a stretch limoscene?' Did it mean that someone had a lot of limoscenes or cars? Maybe that person owned a dealership. 

   It was rare, very rare, when there would be a good mood around the table. Usually, there was only silence or arguements. Gosalyn hated when the two older ducks would yell about who-knows-what; she would just sit there and eat silently and not do anything when she should because wasn't arguing bad for people? Plus, a plate would be broken occasionally during these fights and it was difficult to clean up.

   Gosalyn found it difficult, right now, to ask the question that has been in the back of her mind all day. She had decided to go on a small walk after breakfast and had passed by a group of older kids during it. They were loud, letting out large belts of laughter and slapping their hands. Gosalyn knew from experience to always watch out for older kids who delighted in tormenting the younger ones. So, she slipped behind a pole and heard rather than see them pass. One of them had a single sentence, however, and it latched onto Gosalyn's brain like a fish hook. None of the books she owned helped her and she knew better than to sneak into Negaduck's room for any book to help. She decided to wait until the older duck returned home to ask him. Surely, a simple question wouldn't make him annoyed at her.

   Gosalyn shifted in her seat, stood up straight, placed down her fork, and spoke. "Uh, Mr. Negaduck?"

   The conversation between said avian and Launchpad stopped short as both adults directed their attention to her. "What?" Negaduck bit out gruffly, lifting his hand to take a swig of his drink.

   ' _Now or never.'_ "What's sex?" she asked.

   The reaction was immediate. Negaduck spat out his drink, spraying his dinner and the table infront of him with it while Launchpad coughed roughly, pounding at his chest; he had been chewing on his pasta when Gosalyn had asked. Meanwhile, the younger avian had yelped in surprise at the other's reactions and watched as the two tried to collect themselves.

   After a minute, Negaduck finally looked at her while wiping his mouth dry. "W-W-What was that?" he asked in a slightly horse tone.

   "Uh, what's sex?" Gosalyn asked again, now confused. "Why? What's wrong?"

   "What's wrong?!" Launchpad repeated slowly, gaping at her. "What's wrong?! Ya don't ask that kinda' stuff, kid!"

   ' _I don't?'_ "Well, why not?" Gosalyn asked, quirking up an eyebrow.

   For a split second, Launchpad floundered, opening his mouth and only letting out sputters of unintelligble noises. It was Negaduck who took charged. "Where did you even learn that word?" the yellow clad avian demanded, leaning forward.

   Drawing back from him, Gosaly began to suspect that she should have not asked. "I went out for a walk," she answered, playing with the hems of her dress. "And I passed these kids. They were really loud and I didn't want to cause any trouble so I hid. Then, someone said something abou-"

   "Alright, alright! I get the picture," Negaduck said loudly, cutting her off. He leaned back and sighed, a hand coming up to rub at his eyes. "What-What did the kids say exactly," he asked, sounding more exasperated than Gosayln had ever heard him.

   She chewed down on her bill, trying to remember what had been the exact words. Suddenly, they came to her. "Oh! The boy said " 'Least Ah don' have sex with me friends sister!' " she said, trying to immitate the older boy's voice. Clearing her throat, the red head continued in her usual voice. "And its been bugging me all day long. So, what is sex?"

   That last part had slipped out without permission. She regretted immediatley as she saw the look of horror on both adult's faces grow with every passing second. The fact that both avians almost never looked scared unsettled Gosalyn who suddenly found her rapidly cooling pasta interesting. ' _I said something bad, now I'm gonna be in trouble.'_ Yes, that had to be the most logical explanation. 

   While Gosalyn stared a hole through her dinner, both Negaduck and Launchpad exchanged uneasy looks. Negaduck hooked a finger around the collar of his sweater, pulling on it as he looked to the side while Launchpad stared at his own dinner with an unbearable look on his face. That is how they sat, the three birds as each of them tried to search for any words for the situation at hand. For a while, silence surrounded them.

   It was Launchpad who finally broke. "Wow!" he exclaimed, causing the others to jump at the sudden noise and glancing down at his wrist. "Would ya' look at the time! I gotta' go and, uh, change the oil of my bike." The large drake sprung up from his seat and was hastily walking backward, a nervous grin on his face. "Ya' know how these things are. Heh, well, see ya' later ND!" With that, Launchpad quickly turned around and hurried over to the door.

   "Oh, no you _don't!"_ Negaduck suddenly launched himself from his own, upending it, and slammed a hand onto the door the larger bird was about to open. He threw a glare up at his companion and hissed out,"You are  _not_ leaving me here to deal with this!"

   "Well, I'm not gonna give the talk to the kid!"

   "Why the Hell not?!"

   "What do ya' mean why the Hell not? She's your kid!"

   "Listen, Launchpad. We are in a partnership and as a part of this partnership, you need to take one for the team. Shoulder some weight. Hold up the sky! Haven't I done that for you?"

   "Not exactly, boss. I mean, there was that one time ya' pushed me into Megavolt-"

   "It was in the spur of the movement."

   "-Then that time when you stole my bike and broke it-"

   "I wanted to rob my favorite bank!"

   "-And then that time ya' tricked me into eating that rock-"

   "When did I do that?"

   "Wait, was that you?"

   "Oh, FORGET IT!" Negaduck bellowed, startling Launchpad. Reaching up, he snatched the ex-pilot's shirt and drew him down to the mallard's eye level. "Now, try and understand this, you knob. You're gonna' help me with the kid or I swear I'll shove my chainsaw so far up your ass that it'll come out of _your throat!"_ With that, he released the shirt and turned around to head back to the kitchen. The yellow clad mallard stopped short when he almost ran into Gosalyn who looked up at him. An uncharacteristic yelp escaped him which was immediatley covered with a cough. Negaduck glared down at the pink-wearing bird.

   "Alright, kid. To the couch. March!" Gosalyn quickly turned around and hurried over to the living room, hopping up onto the coach. Negaduck and Launchpad quickly followed after. The yellow clad mallard headed over to the couch and perched himself onto one of the arms of the chair.

   "Listen, kid," Negaduck began. "And listen good 'cause I'm not repeating myself. You know how when people date?" At Gosalyn's nod, he continued. "Well, sometimes those two people-usually adults-decide to get...rowdy. More rowdy than usual. And they get more rowdy on a bed usually or wherever is the most comfortable." A loud groan stopped him from continuing and eyes narrowed behind a black mask. _"What?"_ Negaduck groweled out.

   Launchpad gave him a nast look from the other side of the bed. "Doesn't take a genius to know you're talking about yourself, boss," he snapped, crossing his arms.

   Negaduck donned a look of surprise and places a hand onto his chest. "Are you saying that you're a genuis, Launchpad? 'Cause you're far from it."

   For a few seconds, Launchpad stared blankly at the yellow cladded mallard before it clicked into his mind that he had just been insulted. "Hey!"

   Gosalyn couldn't help but let a small giggle escape at this. However, she was starting to feel a little antsy at not having her question answered. "Okay, so two people get rowdy on a bed," she repeated, looking back and forth at the two adults between her. "Then, what?"

   Now it was Negaduck's turn to flounder, looking a little lost. Then, his face closed off and he deadpanned,"And then the boy fucks the girl in her vag' with his dick. The end." With that, he hopped off of the arm of the couch and walked away to finish his dinner. Launchpad followed soon after, looking all to eager to leave the current conversation. Gosalyn stayed where she was, brow furrowed. So, sex was when a boy and a girl decided to get "rowdy." But, she still had more questions! ' _Maybe they won't mind if I ask?'_

As if he had heard what she was thinking, Negaduck barked from the table,"No more questions!"

   ' _Okay, maybe not.'_ Feeling disappointed, Gosayln returned to the table as well, taking a seat and picking up her fork. ' _Maybe I can ask someone I know tomorrow...?'_

 

~

 

   "You don't know either?"

   "No, sorry."

   "Darn. I was hoping you would since you seem to know everything, Tank."

   "I don't know  _everything_. I don't know where babies come from."

   "I already asked Negaduck and Mr. Launchpad, but they weren't much help."

   "What did they say?"

   "Something about a vag' and a dick and how a boy and girl gets really rowdy on a bed."

   "...I can't make head or tails of that information."

   "Do you think your parents might help? Negaduck said that adults do this type of stuff."

   "Why only adults? And, does it apply to teenagers? Now that I think about it, you're not considered an adult until you hit 18 or 19, but in some countries its 17. But, _why?_ Those numbers are still in the teenage age range. Why can't it be 20?"

   "Tank, we're getting off track."

   "But, I'm on a roll!"

   "Yeah, but think about the satisfaction of getting the answers to a question you have had for so long."

   "...I don't want to ask my parents though. They always get annoyed. And Honker is out of the question. Maybe we could borrow some books from the library."

   "You don't mean stealing, do you, Tank."

   "No, we're not going to steal. The library is rundown and no one will be there, anyway. It may make finding a book hard but its worth a shot."

 

~

 

   Tank was right.

   The library in town had an abandoned look to it; sagging roof, broken windows, graffiti gleaming from the walls, a quiet  _I was here_ to anyone who saw. Gosalyn could not remember a time when the building looked up to date. She and Tank still went there every Sunday to give themselves a different scenery that wasn't a different room in their house. Even though there were rotting food and holes in the ceiling and Tank had cut himself there, they both still went. It was a tradition between them and a secret one at that.

   "Nothing here," Gosalyn informed her friend after scanning the  _S_ section. The two were wearing gloves as they delicately removed books from their respective spots and scanned the covers.

   "Me neither," Tank sighed. "Wait! I think I have something...Ah ha!" He held up a book above his head with a triumphant look on his face. " 'Lyn, I do believe we have our answer!" A small plume of dust settled down upon Tank's glasses and he gasped, tossing the book away to hastily wipe his face and glasses clean. Gosalyn glanced down at the book on the ground. It, like the good majority off all the other reading material in the library, was leather bound. It had a picture of the insides of a human body and was entitled  _The Human Body and You_. Scrunching her beak up slighly at the sight of the organs on display, gingerly picking up the book and blowing the dust off of it.

   Tank had been wiping his glasses on his shirt and replaced them on his face. "This _must_ have something to answer our questions! Come on!" He began to make his way over to one of the tables that had been cleaned by rain. 

   Gosalyn followed, eying the book, dubious. "Let's hope it isn't covered in drawings."

   "I will never understand why some people want to vandalise books when there are sketchbooks," Tank remarked in an exasperated tone. He pulled a seat out for him and Gosalyn who hopped up to sit beside him. "But, enough of that. Now, we will get the answers we deserve!" He pulled the book toward and opened it too quickly. The sudden action caused a puff of dust to jump out into the air, causing the two young ones to lean back. After the dust had cleared, they both began to flip through the pages.

 

~

 

   "Mr. Negaduck?"

   "What?"

   "I know what sex is!"

   " _WH-HOW?!"_

   "See, Tank and I-"

   " _TANK?!"_

   "Ye-Where are you going?!"

**Author's Note:**

> And then they were never heard from again. Jk  
> I wanted to right this when I was about to go to bed but sleep is important, kids!  
> If anyone could do fanart of this I would literally die  
> See ya, scouts


End file.
